This has to be a dream....

I'm still hoping and praying that Aaron and I breaking up is all just one HORRIBLE nightmare.

It's been one week now... and I'm almost ready to give up on waiting for him. I'm terrified that he won't come around. I'm terrified that he and I will never be together again. I'm such a mess without him - I have such a hard time doing normal everyday activities. I'm just... not human without him.

Without him, my million dollar family is ruined :(

I just want him back. No one can understand how badly I want him back and why. I'm not complete without him. Our family was SO close to being complete. A dad, mom, son and daughter. Now, my family is missing 25% of it's heart.

Our daughter has his nose. I realized today when I had my ultrasound. That's when I also realized I can't wait around forever for him. I need him to be ready for a family and willing to be involved now, or never. I can't just wait around for him to be ready. Even if he's not *ready*, why can't we be together and grow together? I could help him =(

I just wish this was all a horrible dream...