Aaron and I...

...almost broke up. I don't *honestly* know how it came about.
He was at COR all weekend, and (more or less) developed an emotional crush on his partner. But, we're trying it again. And he's not answering his phone now, which normally wouldn't bother me, but with what just happened, how can it not bother me?! *sigh* *sigh* *sigh*
That's all I've done today, sigh and cry.
With all that I cried yesterday and today, I'm suprised I still have fluids left in my body.
*sigh* I realllllly hopes he picks up his phone, because I can't deal with it again tonight.

Everything's Hitting Me

Everything's been hitting me these past couple of days. In less than 6 months (a couple days over 5 months actually) Aaron and I will be TTC. In less than a year, I'll be graduated AND we'll be moving up to Windsor. It's super hard to just... grasp it all and wrap your mind around all of it. I'm excited as hell... not too... scared, but with everything hitting me AT ONCE, it's over-whelming.
In October Aaron and I will be TTC a baby girl. He wants a little girl more than anything in this entire world. Me, not so much. I was boys. But, from him talking about it so much, I'm starting to catch his fever a little bit. All I keep thinking about is PINK PINK PINK! YAHOO! We even have our names picked, and they're pretty much set in stone. We have 2 boy names (our favourite, and a second, incase we end up with 3 boys - I'm including Wyatt people!!) and we also have one girl name. I'm realllly hoping we don't have more than 1 girl, I don't think I could handle more than 1 teenage daughter... Actually, I don't think I can handle ONE teenage daughter. Also, I hate picking out girl names, boy names are sooo much better!
I've been thinking lately, how fricken TERRRRRRIFED I am to TTC. Trying to conceive leads to pregnancy which leads to labour and delivery. EEP! I've already pushed out one kid, do I really have to push out another? Next time, I really want to get the damn epidural, then I think I'll be fine.
I don't think Aaron knows how excited I actually am for this. He knows, but does he truly KNOW?! *sigh* I hope he does.

Stupid Graduation

Up until this point, I have no cared about the fact that I do not get to have a formal graduation. Suddednly, it's hitting me that I will not be able to walk across the stage, accept my diploma, and actually celebrate the fact that I finished highschool. And my only way to go to prom is if I go with Aaron... and he doesn't want to go. I'm more upset about the fact that I do not get a graduation ceremony. I've been able to finish highschool after having a baby in grade 11, I should be able to celebrate the fact that I managed to graduate while taking care of my child.
I really, really want to buy myself some summer clothes, and Wyatt some too. I took him outside last night and he played on a tricycle. He's growing up too darn fast :( I also want to buy myself some black & blue flipflops or Crocs, and Wyatt some summer shoes. I don't know if I want to buy him sandles or those breathing shoes... the ones with the holes everywhere... or if I wanna go searching for some Baby Crocs.
I have started DigiScrapping, and have now set up a blog for my layouts. Somewhat like a gallery I guess. I want to try and keep it in order, the first pages in the book at the bottom / the last pages of the book at the top... but I'm constantly making more and more pages to get added itno the middle of the book.