Wyatt & Daddy

http://s180.photobucket.com/albums/x30/ash-leyy_xo/Videos/?action=view&current=WyattDaddy.flv

Making this video made me realize just how much Aaron completes mine and Wyatt's life. He is Wyatt's daddy. He completes our family. Those 2 months without him were hell. I didn't mean the things I said, and I regret ever saying them. But, I'm happy again. I never want to lose this happiness.

Rules of Life...

Pick friends or pick love.
Because, you can't have both.

October 5th, 2007

Was the first day of the rest of my life.
I think Heather said it best when she quoted...
"I thought that God had completed blessing me when he gave me my perfect little boy, but it was soon obvious that real fulfillment ended with you"
Because now, I have my baby boy, and his daddy.

Yes, he officially asked me tonight. On the phone, but still, it was asked.

Good luck to me. Now, just to pray *it* doesn't happen again.

xoxo.

I love Heather. Have I mentioned that lately?
I fucking love my Heather =)


xoxo. ashleyy


*wink*

New Start

...to an old life.

Chris and I broke up, and Aaron and I are back together. Not "offocially" yet, but we are. I never got over him, it hurt every single day. I didn't dare tell people how I felt, because, I couldn't. But I couldn't stand not to be his. I thought Chris would help me get over him, but it didn't work. So, now, we're trying it again. I pray to God he doesn't hurt me again.

We hung out on Saturday night. One massive sing that this was the right thing to do was when he quoted our song.
"I'm sorry" (him)
"It's too late" (me)
"I know, it's too late to apologize" (him)

Apologize (One Republic) was our song. He quoted it, without even noticing it.


It's believed that either your first love, or your third love is *the one*. I was his first love, and he was my third love. I went swimming at his house, 2 times now. Wyatt remembered his parents, and he still calls Aaron "daddy"... I believe I'm doing the right thing. I know I am. He's the one I see in my future. I just wish we wouldn't of lost these past 2 months. They killed. More and more each and every day.

Bonjourno =)

Long time no entry... catch up time?

Alberta fell through, oh well!

Chris asked me out... officially. 06.18.08
But I'm terrified. He used Jenn and Lisa for a POA, and I'm scared that's he's just using me for a POA. I really hope I'm not. He has this odd quality that allows girls to fall for him by simply just by looking at them.

He said something to me the other day that kind of reassured me, but, it's also along the same lines as what Aaron said to me... *sigh* I don't know anymore. I want to hope he's telling the truth and is serious about us, but who knows.

When I ask him how he feels about me,
"There's too many words to describe it - I'm happy now, because I don't have to try and try, I don't have to worry about you - I can relate to you easier because you always know what it's like, and what I'm going through - we go through a lot of the same things. Do you really think I would WANT Wyatt to call me daddy if I was just going to walk out in 3 months? Think again! I'm in this for the long haul, not the fucking short haul - you'll be getting rid of me, I will not be getting rid of you"

But again, who knows.

Latly, I've been noticing how I'm second to Stephen. I hate that! I was always second to someone else from all my other boyfriends. I don't mind being second to Taylor, but when I'm second to Taylor, Kara and Stephen... it makes me a littl depressed *cries*

Chris had to go to the hospital tonight for his knee. I was there, but I didn't want to be (hospitals freak me out), but I couldn't leave. I just... couldn't. I couldn't leave him there. I wanted to be with him. On the walk home, he held my hand, and kissed me... But didn't act much like a boyfriend, ya know? It kinda hurts. But, atleast he'll b near me in public. Not like the others.

I'm trying to convince him to let me and Wyatt sleep over there one night. We could put Wyatt to bed, then we could go skinny dipping (LOL), but he wants Stephen and Monica to be there (UGGG!) Why can't it EVER be just the 2 of us?!

I love the song Heartbreaker, and hav recently noticed how much it applies to Chris and I.

I keep thinking 'bout that little sparkle in your eye
Is it a light from the Angels, or your Devil deep inside?
What About the way you say you love me all the time?
Are you lifting me up to Heaven just to drop me down a line?

There's a ring around my finger
But will you change your mind?
And you tell me that I'm beautiful
But that could be a lie!

Are you a heartbreaker?
Maybe you want me for the ride.
What if I'm falling for a heartbreaker
And everything is just a lie?
I won't be leaving here alive.
I won't be leaving here alive.

Temporary happiness is like waiting for the knife
I'm always watching for someone to show their darker side.
So maybe I'll sit back and just enjoy all this for now
Watch it all play out, see if you'll really stick around

There's always this one question that keeps me up at night...
Are you my greatest love or dissapointment in my life?

Are you a heartbreaker?
Maybe you want me for the ride.
What if I'm falling for a heartbreaker
And everything is just a lie?
I won't be leaving here alive.
I might as well lay down and die.

I'm holding on with both hands and both feet.
Promis that you won't pull the rug out from under me.

Are you a heartbreaker?
Maybe you want me for the ride.
I pray to God you're not a heartbreaker.
This time around I won't survive.
'Cause if I'm falling for a heartbreaker
And everything is just a lie
I won't be leaving here alive.
I might as well lay down and die.
I won't be leaving here alive.

I'm also starting to completly LOVE the song No Air, and, of course, I think of Chris every time I listen to it. Uggg.... Supid Chris with his stupid ability to make girls fall head-over-heals for him.