Movies? Possibly, possibly not

Tonight I asked Jeremy (Dorey) if he wanted to go to the movies with me on the weekend. He said he'd think about it (going to be a no)... Then he asked me who this other guy was that I like... and I told him. It's him. I think I scared him. I let him know that I actually DO want to go to the movies as JUST friends, and that I don't want us to be weird around each other... But, I think I scared him and he will be weird.
I'm already regreting that I told him. Bah-hum-bug!!!!!

Gah!

Aaron has been very vocal about the fact that he no longer cares (at all) about myself or Wyatt.

On Thursday I brought Wyatt to school. Aaron told Charlotte that he knows the only reason I brought Wyatt in was to piss him off. If he doesn't care AT ALL about myself or Wyatt, why would me bringing Wyatt in piss him off?

On Friday at lunch, Aaron, Jeremy, and 2 others went out for lunch. Aaron, being the showoff that he is, almost got into a few accidents. Jeremytoldme about it on the bus. I came home and I cried. All I could do was think about the "what if's"... I cried and cried. I don't want to lose Jeremy. And I think, that made me realize how much I like him.

Tomorrow (Monday) Alyssa and Aaron are going somewhere at lunch. I FUCKING HATE THAT! I hate the fact that he's taking my friends away from me. I hate the fact that he doesn't want me to be friends with Jeremy, then he turns around and decides to be friends with Alyssa... she was MINE first =(

Gah. I like Jeremy, and I want to be his girlfriend. And, I think I should tell him.

Karma...

is a bitch. I've met her.









Will write later... lots to talk about... Need erm... meh, need something.

Why?

Tonight on the bus, I was having really bad cramps, soI was cuddled over, like, clenching my tummy. Jeremy put his arms around me, he rubbed my back, and he kissed my forehead.
Why does he do things that make me like him even more?

Saturday Morning Thoughts...

Both Charlotte and Alyssa thinks that Jeremy likes me. Alyssa is going to find out for me on Tuesday so I know if something might possibly happen, or if it's just shameless flirting. Alyssa thinks that he does like me, but thinks (he thinks) it would be weird because he's friend's with Aaron. I don't care - he can br friends with who ever he wants to be friends with, that doesn't mean I have to be friends with them.
It has really started to hit me that the last time I was out was in February 2006. Not meaning drinking/drugs kind of out, just meaning... out. I would kill to go to the movies. I was thinking about asking Jeremy to go to Liquid with me this weekend, but Alyssa doesn't have any room left in the veichel... so I'm screwed. I would love to go to the movies with him though.
I like him.
My adorable son stepped on my laptop... now I have some dead pixels on the monitor. Geeze!
Today, I was acting single. I mean, I've always acted single when I was around Jeremy, but I finally acted like it around others. I was flirting with 2 guys in my 4th period and they were flirting back. One even called me cute. I'm not interested in them, but it's fin to be able to flirt again without worring about your boyfriend flipping out on you.
Lately it's been really hitting me about Wyatt. I mean, I love him, I always have. But it's been hitting me about how much I do love him. I don't know what my life would be like without him, but him being in my life, makes me life worth living. He is the only reason my heart keeps beating. What would I do without him?

Gah! I hate writing multiple topic entries, because I can never think of a title... Unless I combine all the topics to make the title... But I don't like doing that... haha

Walking Zombie, Chubbers, GO AWAY!!!

I feel like a damn walking zombie. I'm living off of 5 hours of sleep within the past 2 days. Last night I got 3 hours, and the night before I got 2 hours of sleep! And, I think I'm comming down with something, because I feel like shit. Wyatt's sick too, and so is Ashton.

On other news, I made Jeremy pop another chubber on the bus, haha!

And Aaron now told his brother that my friends are "attacking" him. Blech. I'm sooooo over with him. I wish he would fall off the face of the earth. Seriously.

Why?

Why do I do this to myself? Why do I let myself like a guy that it'll never happen with? Why do I let myself like a guy who'll never like me back?